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Day 21 of 50 ideas in 50 days is Trust Your Vibes by Sonia Choquette. I have been a fan of Sonia for a long time and Trust Your Vibes is a great book with really interesting subject matter. Our ‘vibes‘ are our sixth sense, our intuition, our gut instinct and the book is full of great ideas about how to tune in to them.
Sonia begins on a very simple but incredibly important point – that in order to be our best and allow our intuition to flow, we need to first take care of ourselves. She says, “amazing things happen when you get enough sleep, eat properly and take it easy. Your nerve endings relax and your spirit, or the sixth-sensory part of you rejuvenates and begins to shine light on your path.” If we are doing too much running around and not nourishing ourselves enough, the only thing we will be aware of is our physical body’s exhaustion trying to communicate to us.
Sonia continues with the idea that the mind also needs nourishment and relaxation for the vibes to flow. She suggests distraction from the flow of negative thoughts of the conscious mind by walking and getting outside. “Whenever you find yourself overly concerned or unable to stop thinking about something, immediately go outside and walk, or better yet, run around the block to disrupt the toxic trance you are in.” I wholeheartedly agree with this. I was thinking so hard yesterday about a band I used to like but whose cd I never bought. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t remember their name. This morning, I woke up, showered and started the day thinking of other things. I opened the window and was immediately struck by the delicious breeze which I proceeded to breathe in deeply. At that moment, the name of the band came into my head! That’s nature and intuition working in harmony!
It is important to get out and about to create a distraction from the chatter of your conscious mind but if this isn’t possible, the next best thing is to stay still and breathe deeply. This also gives your mind a break and allows unconscious thoughts and intuition easier flow. “When you’re tense, nervous or anxious, your energy gets tangled up and blocked…breathing deeply and regularly not only is the key to remaining calm but also connects us to a higher vibration.”
There are so many wonderful pieces of advice in this book that I found it difficult to choose which to talk about but I most certainly want to finish on a key idea of Sonia’s and that is, laugh a lot! ”To be intuitive, we must cultivate our sense of humour and look for reasons to laugh everywhere…this week, laugh a lot, look for the humour in things…get over your seriousness and let your hair down.” This week? Yes, this week and every other week after that. It is part of vitality and longevity and something we should consistently try to cultivate every day.
Day 20 of 50 ideas in 50 days is a little reflection on the last 20 days. First of all I want to say thank you to everyone for reading my posts and for your continued support. It’s wonderful reading all your comments and your interesting takes on what I have posted. Initially, I was both excited and intrigued by what lay ahead in the 50 ideas and I must say, a little worried that I wouldn’t manage to post some new thoughts or get a chance to digest the information properly but it has been a great journey so far. I know that looking at the key ideas from each book means that I am not digesting in any great depth but I feel that is for a future time.
I will most definitely be looking into many of the works that previously I hadn’t even given a glance to because I made the mistake of judging the book by it’s cover! 50 ideas in 50 days has changed my mind about business books like Wallace Wattles’ The Science of Getting Rich and Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich. I am also intrigued to read more about mindset from writers like Michael Bernard Beckwith and Dale Carnegie because they have such an amazing and unique writing style. I am encouraged again to rediscover some old favourites like Wayne Dyer and Jack Canfield, so it has been a real eye opener for me.
I have particularly enjoyed all the parallels so far such as having the correct mindset, not focusing on worry or any negative ideas, making sure you give your body the love and care it needs, not worrying about what others think and of course, feeling gratitude for your situation and those around you. I love how almost every author so far touches on that. I am so looking forward to continuing this journey with you and I hope you enjoy the little nuggets of wisdom in the days ahead. Thanks again for reading! 
Day 19 of 50 ideas in 50 days is Happy For No Reason by Marci Shimoff. This is perhaps one of the best titles ever of any self-help book and there is lots of wisdom in it’s pages. Happy For No Reason is not about the highs and lows of happiness, it’s being haapy, content and at peace with yourself. Marci says, “it isn’t elation, euphoria, mood spikes or peak experiences that don’t last….when you are happy for no reason, you can have any emotion but you still experience that underlying state of peace and well-being.
Philosophers Notes gives a very thought provoking quote from The Upanishads , “Happiness for any reason is just another form of misery.” Circumstances fluctuate so rapidly and because of the impermanence of all things, the reason you are happy will not stay the same, it will change like everything else. We can be happy for bad reasons like drugs and alcohol, good reasons like relationships and career. However, happy for no reason is living from happiness rather than for happiness.
Marci quotes Thomas Jefferson who said that the common use of the word ‘pursue’ was not to ‘chase after’ something but to practice an activity and make a habit of it. This integrates it into your everyday life so it becomes natural, it is not something just out of reach to be chased. Marci says, “people with high happiness ’set points’ are human just like the rest of us. They don’t have any special powers…they just have different habits. Psychologists say that at least 90% of all behaviour is habitual. So to become happier, you need to look at your habits.”
Marci talks about the power of neuroplasticity, a subject that I am extremely interested in, and the fact that we are re-wiring our brains moment to moment, positively or negatively. She says, ”we need to incline our mind to joy” and quotes a beautiful piece of Cherokee wisdom: One evening, a Cherokee elder told his grandson about the battle that goes on inside of people. He said, “my son, the battle is between two wolves that live inside us all. One is unhappiness, fear, worry, anger and the other is happiness, joy, love, kindness and truth.” The grandson thought about this for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “which wolf wins?” The old Cherokee simply replied, “the one you feed.”
A beautiful story and a perfect illustration of how what we focus on or ‘feed’ increases. There is plenty of room inside your amazing brain to increase your happiness habits – every day.
Day 18 of 50 ideas in 50 days is The Success Principles by Jack Canfield. Jack is co-creator of the ‘Chicken Soup for the Soul’ series with Mark Victor Hansen, whose original Chicken Soup title I read 15 years ago. I loved the idea and the heart warming stories inside. Jack Canfield is a powerhouse of amazing ideas and a brilliant businessman. He brings many great ideas to the table in this recent book of his.
Principle 1 – take 100% responsibility. “It is time to stop looking outside yourself for the answers to why you haven’t created the life and results you want, for it is you who creates the quality of the life you lead and the results you produce.” Yes, accept complete responsibility for your life and be the creator of it, get out of victim mode and look for the answers within. It’s your life, don’t allow others to shape it for you. Jack gives a formula to help us with the idea and it is as follows;
Event + Response = Outcome
What actually happens, ie the event, is neutral. It is our response that makes it into something it is not and we always have a choice how to respond. It is our reponse that gives the outcome, depending on whether we are in reactive or proactive, victim or creator mode. The realisation of this is tremendously empowering.
Principle 2 – be clear why you are here. This is all about your purpose and Jack talks about how good you feel when you are clear of this. We know we are on purpose by the measure of how good we feel when doing it.
Jack Canfield echoes Dale Carnegie from How to Stop Worrying and Start Living when he quotes from Daniel Amen’s 18/40/60 rule. He says, “I like Dr Daniel Amen’s 18/40/60 rule: when you are 18, you worry about what everybody is thinking of you; when you are 40, you don’t give a damn what anybody thinks of you; when you are 60, you realise that nobody is thinking about you at all.” It’s probably true that people are more worried about what you think of them. I suspect there have been many wasted hours in all our lives worrying about this, it is so unnecessary. We can utilise our energy in much more productive ways.
Talking of more productive ways, I’d like to finish with a great principle in honouring what is really important in your life. Jack says, “Successful people adhere to the no exceptions rule when it comes to their daily disciplines. Once you make a 100% commitment to something, there are no exceptions.” So when you find something that really works, really makes a difference – honour it 100%. Healthy eating, yoga, meditation, reading, integrate them wholly into your daily life, no excuses. Then you will be living the life you truly want and embracing it 100%.
Day 17 of 50 ideas in 50 days is The Magic of Thinking Big by David Schwartz. Originally published in 1959, this book deals with thinking big in all areas of life, be it business, relationships or spirituality and it contains many fabulous ideas.
The 1st chapter talks about belief and how it can make or break a situation. The all important belief in yourself is paramount to success. There are so many examples of this in different circumstances and it comprises an extremely high percentage of success. Placebos are so powerful, believe it can work and lo and behold, it does. This really can’t be stressed highly enough. I’ve come across this many times when working with hypnotherapy clients and it’s the main reason that I don’t accept clients who have been coerced by a love one to have a hypnosis session. There is very little belief in the process and they aren’t there of their own free will so motivation is extremely low. Belief in the power of your own capabilities is such an essential aspect of success and achievement.
I love what Schwartz describes as stickability, “just enough sense to stick with something, a chore, task, project, until it is completed pays off much better than idle intelligence, even if idle intelligence be of genius caliber.” The wisdom here is in seeing things through to their completion and it may sound like common sense but many of us begin a project with gusto to then see our efforts taper over time. In Philosopher’s Notes, Brian quotes Steve Pavlina, Tim Ferriss and Brian Tracy and what they term ’single-handling’ which is, “touch something once and don’t put it down again until it is complete.” So, if you are writing a book, have in your mind how much you wish to complete today or in a set amount of time and do it. If I have some writing to do, I make sure it is complete before I click on Facebook and Twitter!
Another favourite idea of mine that Schwartz touches on is, “to think confidently – act the way you want to feel.” This is so powerful and it works. In my teens and early 20’s I was really shy in situations where I didn’t know people so you can imagine how I felt doing teacher training and thinking about standing up in front of a class for the first time. I had to act as if I was confident. I had seen plenty of good role models by that time and knew what worked and what didn’t but to cover up the nerves I had to be a complete actress and I eventually fooled myself. Kids are so perceptive and can smell fear a mile away! Often, ‘acting as if ‘ involves releasing your inner actor but if it is something you truly believe in or have a passion for it can work wonders.
I can understand why this book has been such a bestseller, it’s full of gems that work and make good sense. I will keep returning and refreshing my mind with Schwartz’ work for many years to come.
Wow, day 16 of 50 ideas in 50 days is Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. I’m sure everyone has felt in a state of flow even if only once. It is that place where what you are doing seems effortless and almost as if from another source. Mihaly is a positive psychology expert and professor and has been researching the subject of flow for over 35 years.
Mihaly echoes many self-help writers when he states that external situations need not determine our inner well being. He says, “a person can make himself happy or miserable regardless of what is actually happening outside just by changing the contents of consciousness.” He adds, “to develop this trait, one must find ways to order consciousness so as to be in control of feelings and thoughts. It is best not to expect shortcuts will do the trick.” Yes indeed, don’t expect shortcuts! On the other hand, don’t expect it to take forever either, because that would just deflate the whole purpose of self-development. Be mindful that the conditioning you have at the moment didn’t happen overnight and positive conditioning also needs time to develop, with practice and persistence.
My other favourite point from this book talks about how control over your consciousness cannot be prescribed by another, be it from a book or a person – it comes from within. I particularly love the idea of finding your own truth and do believe that many spiritual aspects of tradition and culture are lost over the years due to a variety of different factors. Mihaly says, “the knowledge of how to control consciousness must be reformulated every time the cultural context changes.” It is true, everything changes constantly and traditional ideas can become irrelevant or can’t be adapted. I also think however that true spirituality and ideas that come straight from the heart never change, they are timeless. He says, “the wisdom of the mystics might have been excellent in their own time…but transplanted to contemporary California, they lose quite a bit of their original power…they contain elements specific to their original contexts.” This is true, to an extent, however if you are talking about the wisdom of the mystics, this is completely internal and cannot be communicated. The problems occur when, “the path to freedom gets overgrown by brambles of meaningless mumbo jumbo” because this takes the focus away from the inside, perhaps with rules, regulations and rituals.
The heart of truth, wisdom and compassion is completely timeless. It is an energy that just is and keeps us in connecton with others around us and the universe as a whole. When we are in control of the chit chat of the conscious mind, we can allow that energy to radiate and we can be in perfect flow with forever we choose to do.
Day 15 of 50 ideas in 50 days is The Pursuit of Perfect by Tal Ben-Shahar. I hadn’t come across this book before but the title speaks volumes to me. For so long I pursued a life of perfection, eventually realising of course it was unreachable because it doesn’t exist.  Ben-Shahar offers the alternative he calls, optimalism which is much more empowered than the sense of lack given by pursuing perfection.
To quote from the book, Ben-Shahar says, “a perfectionist holds herself to impossible standards that result in pain and suffering to include, low self-esteem, eating disorders, depression, anxiety, OCD, chronic fatigue, panic disorder, social phobia and serious difficulties in relationships.” Wow! It’s important to realise that mistakes and failures happen, that’s life and the way we view these will affect our quality of life. If we view the glass as half full then we can find something good in any situation. It’s also important, as Tal says, “to fail frequently, because it means you try frequently, put yourself on the line and challenge yourself…from this we learn and grow.” We always have a choice and if we view failure and mistakes as opportunity and something we can learn from, it allows us to be the creators of our lives and not victims.
I’m a huge fan of Cognitive Therapy and the idea of viewing things as they truly are rather than through the filter of personal interpretation. Tal says, “the goal of cognitive therapy is to restore a sense of realism by getting rid of distorted thinking. When we identify an irrational thought, we change the way we think about the event and thereby change the way we feel… the distorted thought elicits an intense and unhealthy fear of failure, the rational thought reframes the situation and puts it into perspective.” This is viewing things as they really are, not as they appear to us.
I’d like to conclude with a rather wonderful new take on The Golden Rule (do unto others as you would have them do to you) that Ben-Shahar calls, ‘The Platinum Rule. ‘ We often show kindness to others but fail to do the same toward ourselves. He says, “why the double standard?” The new rule is, “do not to yourself what you would not do unto others.” Show the same level of compassion and encouragement to yourself as you would to your best friend and from this point you can begin to experience optimalism.
Day 14 of 50 ideas in 50 days is the Napoleon Hill classic, Think and Grow Rich. This has been a pivotal book for so many people in business but this famous work is more than a book about money.  When he refers to riches, Hill is also referring to emotional and spiritual riches and this well read work has been an inspiration to many since it was first published in 1937. There are a few gems in this wonderful book that I’d like to focus on.
‘Thoughts are things.’ Hill says, “our brains become magnetised with the dominating thoughts that we hold in our minds and these attract the focus, people and circumstances which harmonise with the nature of our dominating thoughts.” Napoleon Hill was discussing the Law of Attraction decades before it was given the name. Unless we make a conscious effort to become aware of those thoughts and change them, then we still get more of the same, over and over again.
Self Confidence Formula - Here is a powerful quote that leads on from ‘thoughts are things,’ “I realise the dominating thoughts of my mind will eventually reproduce in outward action and gradually transform themselves into physical reality. Therefore, I will concentrate my thoughts for 30 minutes daily upon the task of thinking of the person I intend to become, thereby creating in my mind a clear, mental picture.” This exercise or similar is echoed in many self-help books and indeed is one that I recommend highly as ‘homework’ for my hypnotherapy clients. The important thing though is that it must be done regularly and consistently for it to have effect and to replace previous limiting beliefs. As an addition to this, I’d like to finish with another very important quote from Hill. “Without doubt, the most common weakness of all human beings is the habit of leaving their minds open to the negative influence of other people.” We may be more exposed to negative conditioning when we are growing up, but as adults we can choose to be the creators of our thoughts, experiences and our lives.
Day 13 of 50 ideas in 50 days is The 80/20 Principle by Richard Koch. I really need to take a leaf out of this book! For so long I have spent too much time overpreparing, pondering over perfection in my work and it’s true that 20% of efforts lead to 80% of the results, so I was keen to absorb the gems in this book.
There are a few obvious examples of the 80/20 principle in life:
20% of the students do 80% of the work
20% of the clothes in the wardrobe are worn 80% of the time
20% of the clients account for 80% of the profit.
I’m sure you can think of other examples, the world is full of them! How can this help us in our day to day lives? Koch says, “20% of what we do leads to 80% of the results but 80% of what we do leads to only 20%. We are wasting 80% of our time on low value outcomes.” So where do your best ideas come from? Which activity generates the best revenue for your business? Find out and focus on making this part larger. It’s important to know what is working as well as what is not working so you can make important changes.
It’s interesting also to note how the 80/20 principle works in different areas of life. For example, regarding relationships, Koch says, “spend your time and your emotional energy reinforcing and deepening the relationships that are most important.” Brian of Philosopher’s Notes says, “it may sound harsh but 20% of your friends and loved ones probably account for 80% of your enjoyment and satisfaction.” He goes on to quote Abraham Maslow who said, “self-actualising people have these especially deep ties with rather few individuals…devotion is not a matter of a moment.
Koch ends by saying, “whenever you spot a 20% activity, run to it, surround yourself with it, immerse yourself in it..make the most of it.” It’s all about where you focus your energy. So often we waste a lot of time unnecessarily and end up feeling stressed and exhausted. It is, however, entirely possible to create a wonderful quality of life using this principle.
 Day 12 of 50 ideas in 50 days is Overachievement by John Eliot PhD. This book is tremendously exciting, power packed with ideas that are refreshing and highly motivating. There are so many dynamic points in John’s book, some that are new to my thinking and that’s always a good thing.
“Overachievement is aimed at people who want to maximise their potential and to do that, I insist you throw caution to the wind, ignore the pleas of parents, coaches, spouses and bosses to be realistic.” This is a fabulous quote and it appeals to my ultra rebellious nature! ;D Many things are said to us, often because others wish to protect us but unfortunately it shows their own conditioning and limiting mindset. John talks about the difference between the ‘Trusting Mindset’ and the ‘Training Mindset’ and gives an amazing analogy of a squirrel. He says, “the best in every business do what they have learned to do without questioning their ability – they flat out trust their skills.” Think also of how an ant works, with complete purpose and vision! Also, think about bees, how they fly and help sustain the whole ecology of the Earth when in fact they don’t know that aerodynamically, they are unable to fly! They are unaware of this but their whole purpose is far stronger. This is a ‘Trusting Mindset’ and is about not focusing on “anything but the target of that particular moment.” On the other hand, the Training Mindset’ is when your thoughts, worries and anxieties come into play. I’m sure you have experienced this yourself or have seen for example, a professional football player taking a penalty at the world cup and missing. Have you ever tried to hit a target in archery or golf or basketball and worried too much because there was a bet on you winning! I’m sure you can think of many different examples. (public speaking comes to mind!)
Eliot has an incredible take on fight or flight response. He says, “the physical symptoms of fight or flight are what the human body has learned over thousands of years to operate efficiently and at the highest level. Anxiety is a cognitive interpretation of that physical response.” He makes a very interesting point here, that the pressure we might feel in a situation can be our body’s way of helping us with performance. This feeling of pressure is completely different from worry or anxiety, it all depends on how our mind interprets the situation.
Throughout this book, John Eliot is urging to us that there is no place for worry and that “great performers focus on what they are doing and nothing else. They are able to engage in the task so completely that there is no room left for self-criticism, judgement or doubt.” That is wisdom indeed.
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