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Day 15 of 50 ideas in 50 days is The Pursuit of Perfect by Tal Ben-Shahar. I hadn’t come across this book before but the title speaks volumes to me. For so long I pursued a life of perfection, eventually realising of course it was unreachable because it doesn’t exist. Ben-Shahar offers the alternative he calls, optimalism which is much more empowered than the sense of lack given by pursuing perfection.

To quote from the book, Ben-Shahar says, “a perfectionist holds herself to impossible standards that result in pain and suffering to include, low self-esteem, eating disorders, depression, anxiety, OCD, chronic fatigue, panic disorder, social phobia and serious difficulties in relationships.”  Wow! It’s important to realise that mistakes and failures happen, that’s life and the way we view these will affect our quality of life.  If we view the glass as half full then we can find something good in any situation. It’s also important, as Tal says, “to fail frequently, because it means you try frequently, put yourself on the line and challenge yourself…from this we learn and grow.” We always have a choice and if we view failure and mistakes as opportunity and something we can learn from, it allows us to be the creators of our lives and not victims.

I’m a huge fan of Cognitive Therapy and the idea of viewing things as they truly are rather than through the filter of personal interpretation. Tal says, “the goal of cognitive therapy is to restore a sense of realism by getting rid of distorted thinking. When we identify an irrational thought, we change the way we think about the event and thereby change the way we feel… the distorted thought elicits an intense and unhealthy fear of failure, the rational thought reframes the situation and puts it into perspective.” This is viewing things as they really are, not as they appear to us.

I’d like to conclude with a rather wonderful new take on The Golden Rule (do unto others as you would have them do to you) that Ben-Shahar calls, ‘The Platinum Rule. ‘ We often show kindness to others but fail to do the same toward ourselves. He says, “why the double standard?”  The new rule is, “do not to yourself what you would not do unto others.” Show the same level of compassion and encouragement to yourself as you would to your best friend and from this point you can begin to experience optimalism.

Day 14 of 50 ideas in 50 days is the Napoleon Hill classic, Think and Grow Rich. This has been a pivotal book for so many people in business but this famous work is more than a book about money. When he refers to riches, Hill is also referring to emotional and spiritual riches and this well read work has been an inspiration to many since it was first published in 1937. There are a few gems in this wonderful book that I’d like to focus on.

‘Thoughts are things.’ Hill says, “our brains become magnetised with the dominating thoughts that we hold in our minds and these attract the focus, people and circumstances which harmonise with the nature of our dominating thoughts.” Napoleon Hill was discussing the Law of Attraction decades before it was given the name. Unless we make a conscious effort to become aware of those thoughts and change them, then we still get more of the same, over and over again.

Self Confidence Formula - Here is a powerful quote that leads on from ‘thoughts are things,’ “I realise the dominating thoughts of my mind will eventually reproduce in outward action and gradually transform themselves into physical reality. Therefore, I will concentrate my thoughts for 30 minutes daily upon the task of thinking of the person I intend to become, thereby creating in my mind a clear, mental picture.” This exercise or similar is echoed in many self-help books and indeed is one that I recommend highly as ‘homework’ for my hypnotherapy clients. The important thing though is that it must be done regularly and consistently for it to have effect and to replace previous limiting beliefs. As an addition to this, I’d like to finish with another very important quote from Hill. “Without doubt, the most common weakness of all human beings is the habit of leaving their minds open to the negative influence of other people.” We may be more exposed to negative conditioning when we are growing up, but as adults we can choose to be the creators of our thoughts, experiences and our lives.

Day 13 of 50 ideas in 50 days is The 80/20 Principle by Richard Koch. I really need to take a leaf out of this book! For so long I have spent too much time overpreparing, pondering over perfection in my work and it’s true that 20% of efforts lead to 80% of the results, so I was keen to absorb the gems in this book.

There are a few obvious examples of the 80/20 principle in life: 

20% of the students do 80% of the work  

20% of the clothes in the wardrobe are worn 80% of the time

20% of the clients account for 80% of the profit.

I’m sure you can think of other examples, the world is full of them! How can this help us in our day to day lives? Koch says, “20% of what we do leads to 80% of the results but 80% of what we do leads to only 20%. We are wasting 80% of our time on low value outcomes.” So where do your best ideas come from? Which activity generates the best revenue for your business? Find out and focus on making this part larger. It’s important to know what is working as well as what is not working so you can make important changes.

It’s interesting also to note how the 80/20 principle works in different areas of life. For example, regarding relationships, Koch says,  “spend your time and your emotional energy reinforcing and deepening the relationships that are most important.”  Brian of Philosopher’s Notes says, “it may sound harsh but 20% of your friends and loved ones probably account for 80% of your enjoyment and satisfaction.” He goes on to quote Abraham Maslow who said, “self-actualising people have these especially deep ties with rather few individuals…devotion is not a matter of a moment.

Koch ends by saying, “whenever you spot a 20% activity, run to it, surround yourself with it, immerse yourself in it..make the most of it.”  It’s all about where you focus your energy. So often we waste a lot of time unnecessarily and end up feeling stressed and exhausted. It is, however, entirely possible to create a wonderful quality of life using this principle.

Day 12 of 50 ideas in 50 days is Overachievement by John Eliot PhD. This book is tremendously exciting, power packed with ideas that are refreshing and highly motivating. There are so many dynamic points in John’s book, some that are new to my thinking and that’s always a good thing.

“Overachievement is aimed at people who want to maximise their potential and to do that, I insist you throw caution to the wind, ignore the pleas of parents, coaches, spouses and bosses to be realistic.” This is a fabulous quote and it appeals to my ultra rebellious nature! ;D  Many things are said to us, often because others wish to protect us but unfortunately it shows their own conditioning and limiting mindset. John talks about the difference between the ‘Trusting Mindset’ and the ‘Training Mindset’ and gives an amazing analogy of a squirrel. He says, “the best in every business do what they have learned to do without questioning their ability – they flat out trust their skills.” Think also of how an ant works, with complete purpose and vision! Also, think about bees, how they fly and help sustain the whole ecology of the Earth when in fact they don’t know that aerodynamically, they are unable to fly! They are unaware of this but their whole purpose is far stronger. This is a ‘Trusting Mindset’ and is about not focusing on “anything but the target of that particular moment.” On the other hand, the Training Mindset’ is when your thoughts, worries and anxieties come into play. I’m sure you have experienced this yourself or have seen for example, a professional football player taking a penalty at the world cup and missing. Have you ever tried to hit a target in archery or golf or basketball and worried too much because there was a bet on you winning! I’m sure you can think of many different examples. (public speaking comes to mind!)

Eliot has an incredible take on fight or flight response. He says, “the physical symptoms of fight or flight are what the human body has learned over thousands of years to operate efficiently and at the highest level. Anxiety is a cognitive interpretation of that physical response.” He makes a very interesting point here, that the pressure we might feel in a situation can be our body’s way of helping us with performance. This feeling of pressure is completely different from worry or anxiety, it all depends on how our mind interprets the situation.

Throughout this book, John Eliot is urging to us that there is no place for worry and that “great performers focus on what they are doing and nothing else. They are able to engage in the task so completely that there is no room left for self-criticism, judgement or doubt.”  That is wisdom indeed.

Day 11 of 50 ideas in 50 days is The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace D Wattles. I am very broad minded when it comes to books and books about getting rich for some reason always have a bit of a mental block for me. Perhaps it’s the years of conditioning about hard work! However, very often, books that are so titled are more than just about money. I’d like to share with you a couple of my favourite ideas from Wattles’ essay.

Wattles gives a beautiful analogy of a seed and says, “a seed dropped into the ground springs into activity and in the act of living, produces a hundred more seeds; life by living multiplies itself.” It’s important to consider what seeds you are planting in your life as it will produce many more in it’s image. Think of how laughter is infectious or how a bad mood can spread to others around you! There are also similarities here with the Law of Attraction in that like attracts like and what you focus on increases.

The other important point I’d like to focus on is ‘becoming a creator, not a competitor.’ Wattles says, “you are to become a creator, not a competitor; you are going to get what you want, but in such a way that when you get it, every other man will have more than he has now.”  There is a huge difference between these two things and when you come from a place of creativity, everyone benefits from your wisdom and individual talent. It’s also about valuing your worth and focusing on how best to serve others by your creation, not, ‘what can I get from this person or how can I compete?” When you do this, the other person has to lose and it’s much better for everyone to have a win/win situation. Like many other self-help writers, Wattles focuses on gratitude as the thing that keeps us connected to the ‘one intelligent substance from which all things proceed.’ It is the one thing that I know I will continue to see in the pages of  the 50 ideas books within the coming weeks and one that Wattle decided to include in his essay because of it’s utmost importance to happiness and fulfillment.

Day 10 of 50 ideas in 50 days is How to Think Like Leonardo Da Vinci byMichael Gelb. It is said that we should never judge a book by it’s cover but the title of this book made me want to delve into it’s pages. Da Vinci was so much more than just an artist. Often genius comes with outstanding talent in a particular field but Da Vinci was an all-rounder who utilised both sides of his brain to great effect. Not only was he a creative genius, we was incredibly adept in science, music and athletics. In this book, Michael Gelb gives what he think are the 7 qualities in Da Vinci’s genius.

1. Curiosita – an insatiably curious approach to life and an unrelenting quest for continuous learning. I believe we are all born with this and it dominates our life as children but we often lose it when more mundane priorities arise in the so called real world.

2. Dimonstratzione – a commitment to test knowledge through experience, persistence and a willingness to learn from mistakes. This is the scientific method and it is also perhaps the most efficient way to learn, from your own errors.

3. Sensazione – the continual refinement of the senses, especially sight, as the means to clarify experience.

4. Sfumato – a willingness to embrace ambiguity, paradox and uncertainty. I love this. As I’ve always been a philosopher at heart, I embraced uncertainty a long time ago and I place a lot of importance on critical thinking and scepticism. It’s important to know that we can’t know everything.

5. Arte/Scienza – the development of the balance of science and art, logic and imagination. This is whole brain thinking. Balance your technical knowledge with music and your mathematical thoughts with some fiction. Such an important piece of advice, particularly for optimal brain health.

6. Corporalita- the cultivation of grace, ambidexterity, fitness and poise. Michael Gelb is most certainly approaching all angles with these 7 points. The body affects the mind and the mind affects the body. It’s one thing exercising the brain continuously but a healthy body is of equal importance.

7. Connessione- a recognition and appreciation for the connectedness of all things and phenomena. Michael Gelb leaves nothing out of these 7 steps and stresses the importance of  spiritual connection with all things in this final point.

Michael’s own genius in his study of this great master is that he has captured the essence of what it means to fully live your life, completely, authentically and compassionately. Thinking like Leonardo Da Vinci recognises the genius that is potentially within everyone.

Day9 of 50 ideas in 50 days is Spiritual Liberation by Rev. Michael Bernard Beckwith. I first came across Rev. Michael in The Secret and was moved by his profound energy and poignant message. He founded the Agape Spiritual Centre in Los Angeles which is a transdenominational church with a strong focus on spirituality. He is a very gifted writer and speaker and he brings together many dynamic messages in Spiritual Liberation. I would like to focus on 2 ideas in particular that have caught my attention.

In Spiritual Liberation Michael talks about ‘Freedom from the Tyranny of Trends’ as an essential part of liberation and happiness. It’s amazing how many of us fall victim to trends and fashion particularly in the earlier stages of life when we are greatly influenced by what others think. He says, “the tyranny of trends allows for the lowest common denominator to set the standard of success and coolness…blasted out as us from TV, radio, newspapers, computers, trends very often convince individuals what their life’s purpose should be.” This is such an important statement and one that I haven’t heard too often. Why be dictated to by a marketing drive for something that will change next week, next month or next year? It’s completely appropriate to describe it as the lowest common denominator as it allows others to think for you. He goes on to say, ” begin to consciously break your agreement with the mediocrity present in the tyranny of trends… break free from the hold of what society tells us we should be like.” I am in agreement with the point made by Brian in Philosophers Notes when he says, “read, meditate, journal, discover your highest self.. the highest common denominator.”

The other point I would like to focus on from Spiritual Liberation reminds me of ‘Morpheus’ from The Matrix and his classic line, “there is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.” Michael describes not ‘walking the path’ as spiritual indigestion and constipation! He says, “to read and study and have conversations about spiritual practices is good but unless you incorporate them into your life, you won’t embody or integrate them…all you will develop is a case of spiritual indigestion and constipation.” What a fabulous image and one that is incredibly real! Do you find yourself reading through book after book on self-development without seeing any change in your life? Or do you frequent seminars and conferences with gusto, feeling euphoric about your life and future only to find yourself back to square one after the weekend is over? Implementation is key. Your life will remain the same with the usual issues coming back to hit you in the face unless you put theories into your life and practise them. Walk the path. It’s never too late to take action and now is always the best time.

Day 8 in 50 ideas in 50 days is the wonderful Wayne Dyer with Real Magic. Wayne Dyer is one of my all time favourite writers and I particularly love hearing him speak. I own many of his audio books and seminars on mp3 because of his gentle, peaceful voice and he tells many amazingly powerful stories. In this inspirational work, he lists 7 steps for manifesting what he calls, Real Magic.

1. There is an invisible but knowable life force within you. You can feel it when you are truly connecting with someone or when you are in perfect flow with life, sometimes before something happens.

2. Your thoughts are something you control and they originate within you. The realisation of this is very powerful if you really think about it and it’s worth re-reading this many times. You have the power to change your thoughts and your life.

3. There are no limits. This is all about how we have been conditioned to think. Consider how people thought about the Earth hundreds of years ago, that it revolved around the sun and was flat. New discoveries are made every day, that is science and who knows what may be fact tomorrow.

4. Your life has a purpose. Wayne says, “everything has a purpose, indeed the invisible intelligence that flows through everything in a purposeful fashion is also flowing through you.”

5. You overcome weaknesses by leaving them behind. You are in control, your weaknesses are not in control of you, they are not you.

6. When you examine what you believe to be impossible, you can then change your beliefs. Your beliefs are not set in stone, they do not have to be ‘facts’ about your life. Allow your mindset to change to a truer alignment with your dreams.

7. You can go beyond logic. Reminds us that nothing is impossible and miracles can be achieved. ;D

Wayne’s ideas have a timeless spirituality that is perfect for our time. His words about appreciation of the happiness of others have resonance with many spiritual ideas concerning gratitude and joy. We should not harbour negativity toward the prosperity of others in the form of envy, contempt and jealousy. He says, “rejoice in the prosperity of others…negative inner mindset keeps you from being on purpose. You cannot be fulfilled and envious at the same time.” This is a beautiful quote to end on. It comes from a place of love, keeping your mind and heart open. Always a wonderful thing.

Day 7 of 50 ideas in 50 days is Paulo Coelho. What a treat and a privilege! In the Philosophers Notes, Brian does not focus on one book in particular, rather, on the key ideas throughout this tremendous talent’s work. In this blog post, I would like to direct my attention specifically, to what he says about dealing with fear and other negative states that prevent us from achieving our dreams.

From The Alchemist and concerning the fear of suffering, he writes, “tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself and that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of it’s dreams.” Also, ” there is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.” Two very thought provoking quotes that make me think of not having any regrets in life. It’s important  not to let worry and limiting beliefs get in the way of what is in your heart. So often, the fear and worry of doing something is far greater than anything that actually happens when we do it. Better to focus on your dreams than to get so weighed down by worry and fear that we end up not taking that first step and as a result, we live with regret.

In a similar thread is his idea from, ‘Statutes for the New Millennium.’ He says, “only the following items should be considered to be grave faults: not respecting another’s rights; allowing oneself to be paralysed by fear; feeling guilty; believing that one does not deserve the good or ill that happens in one’s life; being a coward.” What makes all of these grave faults? Quite simply, these mean you approach life from the perspective that you are not in control and you are a victim of circumstance. In his comments, Brian Johnston of Philosopher’s Notes says, “with guilt, when it crops up, politely thank it for it’s presence and then let it be known that you’ve forgiven yourself and have moved on.” This is profound and powerful advice, guilt can be so debilitating and this approach can help put you back in the driver’s seat.

One final point I’d like to make is about a section of ‘Like the Flowing River: Alone on the Road.’ Paulo makes a lovely statement about appreciation in this thought provoking work. He says, “Life is like a great bicycle race, whose aim is to fulfill our personal legend….As we pedal to our goal, we must make a point of asking ourselves, ‘what’s beautiful about today?” It’s important that as you move toward a dream, not to take your senses away from what is happening now. Don’t be so focused on the future that you forget the beauty and wonder in your life today.

It’s little wonder that Paulo Coelho is one of the world’s best selling and most influential authors, there is so much beautiful wisdom within the pages of all his works. He has a profound literary style that is timeless and I am certain, will be read by countless generations to come.

Day 6 of 50 ideas in 50 days is T. Harv. Eker’s, Secrets of the Millionaire Mind. This is a very well known book that deals with many different aspects of personal and financial success. I’d like to focus on 3 particular points made by Eker that have resonated with me.

 It’s always so interesting to see a commonly recurring theme throughout so many self-development books and in the case of Eker’s book like so many other wonderful books on this subject, it’s the importance of mindset. Whether it is career, relationships, wealth or general day to day living, having a positive mindset that is open to new possibilities is one which allows change and energy to flow. Eker illustrates how important mindset is, “It all comes down to this: if your subconscious ‘financial blueprint’ is not set for success, nothing you learn, nothing you know and nothing you do will make much of a difference.’ Just like ‘the Law of Attraction’ in yesterday’s post, if you are not allowing the flow of energy due to your negativity then all your efforts will be fruitless.

The second point I’d like to highlight is how Eker views complaining. He sees it as, ” the absolute worst possible thing you could do for your health or your health, the worst! For the next 7 days I challenge you not to complain at all.” I love an exciting challenge and this is a great one! 7 days without complaining is a fantastic idea and I am in total agreement with his thinking here. Complaining only exacerbates a negative feeling and gives it more energy. It’s always important to speak up if you feel strongly about something and wish to make a change but making complaints all the time is such an energy drainer!

The third and final point I’d like to focus on from Secrets of the Millionaire Mind is really a perfect solution to disolving any feelings of envy you may have. I’ve always felt that envy is a complete waste of time and energy. There is a huge difference between admiring what someone has achieved and having a wish to emulate that success or do something similar but wishing and longing for something somebody else has takes the focus and appreciation away from what we have in our own lives. Eker says, “if you see a person with a beautiful home, loving family etc., bless that person, bless that house and bless that family.” This is a beautiful statement that comes from a place of gratitude, not from desire or longing and it allows appreciation for fellow human beings and their joy. I love this idea, it’s living consciously and doesn’t place your happiness in the hands of another. I feel that this is the perfect thought to end my post with.