Archive for February, 2010

Day 35 of 50 ideas in 50 days is The Monk Who Sold his Ferrari by Robin Sharma.

I was first introduced to The Monk Who Sold his Ferrari by my friend Ben, who raved about the book and shared the ideas inside. I found that they really resonated with me. Robin writes a story that is similar to The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho) in style and features an attorney (as opposed to a shepherd) who has a health scare and decides to change his life. (Selling his Ferrari and going to the Himalayas) The attorney the shares the nuggets of wisdom with his student, John who tells the story.

Robin talks about investing in yourself and he uses an analogy that I think is wonderful, he says, (paraphrase) that by saying you are too busy to slow down and invest yourself is like saying you are too busy driving to stop for gas. I’ve never heard it said like this before and it’s brilliant. If you don’t stop for gas, then the car will stop and you won’t get to where you want to get to anyway. Lo and behold, that’s what happens to the body eventually, if you don’t rest and nourish yourself properly. He says, “investing in yourself is the best investment you will ever make. It will not only improve your life, it will improve the lives of all those around you.”

So if you don’t think you have the time to exercise, read, meditate, or write a journal then Robin gives another powerful suggestion. Rise with the sun. He says, “those who rise with the sun all have one thing in common. They all have a purpose that fans the flames of their inner potential.” I really agree with this. When you feel that you are on purpose or that you are investing that extra time in your personal growth, it’s really difficult not to rise with the sun. I have found doing this much easier since I moved to a country that has so much sunshine. Just before sunrise, the kookaburras begin their laughing call to start the day and it’s so difficult not to be alerted from your slumber by this. Also, the sun is so bright at sunrise in Queensland that even the strongest blinds don’t block it out. It’s nature’s way of getting us up to greet the day with the rest of the living things. (It’s also the quietest time to do some things on your own – undisturbed.)

I’d like to finish by sharing Robin’s ‘7 Timeless Virtues of Enlightened Living’ with you because I do believe he has everything covered here.

  1. Master your mind – choose your thoughts, repeat some empowering mantras and affirmations every day.
  2. Follow your purpose – love what you do and live your dream.
  3. Practise Kaisen – have consistent and never-ending improvement.
  4. Live with discipline – if it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well.
  5. Respect your time – focus more time and energy on the things that work and those you love.
  6. Selflessly serve others – expect nothing in return.
  7. Embrace the present – live in the now, you will be happier, more content and you will fully experience life.
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Day 34 of 50 ideas in 50 days is The First 30 Days by Ariane De Bonvoison. The Buddha said, “the only constant in life is change” and that being said doesn’t always mean that we can handle it well. In her book, ‘The First 30 Days,’ Ariane addresses this with the view of making any change in your life a little easier. She has 9 principles for change. She says “people who successfully navigate change…”

  1. Have positive beliefs.
  2. Know that change always brings something positive into their lives.
  3. Know they are resilient, strong and capable of getting through anything.
  4. Know that every challenging emotion they feel is not going to stop them and will guide them to positive emotions that help them feel better.
  5. Know that the quicker they accept the change, the less pain and hardship they feel.
  6. Use empowering thoughts and words, think better thoughts and express their feelings.
  7. Know that they are connected to something bigger than themselves.
  8. Are not alone; they surround themselves with people who can help, who have the right beliefs and skills. They create an environment that supports change.
  9. Take action. They have a plan and know how to take care of themselves.

This advice is priceless. I’ve never been a huge fan of change and have found it the most difficult thing to deal with in my life, especially change in relationships. This list is incredibly empowering and by focusing on these points, I can really see how change can be such a different experience. It’s all in the way that you view things. Ariane calls those who embrace the change, ‘change optimists’ because they see it as an opportunity to grow and know that something good is just around the corner.

I love the point that Ariane makes about fear – that we should accept it and not find it threatening in any way. “In our culture, we are much too focused on trying to get rid of the fear and too little focused on learning to live with the fear and incorporating it into our daily lives and actions. That’s one of the secrets of people who take big risks and make changes quickly. They have the same fear as anyone else but for them it’s not an unfamiliar, threatening emotion.” It’s important to accept the fear as part of life and as you do it, it becomes easier and easier to experience it, welcome it and know that it is part of the only constant in life – change.

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Day 33 of 50 days in 50 days is The Dark Side of the Light Chasers by Debbie Ford. Debbie is the best selling author of five books, has been a repeat guest on Oprah and has frequented many morning shows in the U.S. due to her extraordinary talent as a writer and life coach. The Dark Side of the Light Chasers encourages the readers to be true to themselves by integrating all our emotions and experiences. Self-acceptance is the main idea of this book and Debbie encourages us to look within and embrace all aspects of what we are. She says, “many of us are frightened to look within ourselves and fear has put up walls so thick we no longer remember who we are.”

Debbie then asks us to make a list of the parts of ourselves we don’t like, as she has done. She says, “as soon as I was able to see the positive and the negative value of each aspect of myself, I was able to drop my defensiveness and allow those parts to exist freely. It became clear that the process was not about getting rid of things we dislike in ourselves, but about finding the positive sides of these aspects and integrating it into our lives.” For me, anger always comes to mind, at times it has been unstoppable and I would always fail to see any positive side to it at all. However, I can now see that it makes me take a stand for injustice in the world and has also helped me create discipline in a classroom of teenagers. I’m not saying it’s right or wrong, but I can see a positive side to this emotion. I can accept this part of me.

Debbie continues and urges us to ask the question, “does this interpretation empower me or disempower me? Does this interpretation make me feel weak or strong? If you have an inner dialogue that disempowers you, it won’t change until you replace it with a positive powerful internal conversation.” This is an extremely important exercise to look objectively at how we think and labels we give to things. In this way you can decide if these thoughts serve you or hinder you in any way. You can then choose the thought that better serves you. This kind of analysis is present in cognitive psychology and has been utilised in healing processes for centuries. Once again, this type of process ensures you are living as a creator of your life and not as the result of your conditioning.

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Day 32 of 50 ideas in 50 days is Strength for Life by Shawn Phillips. Shawn has been involved in the field of personal performance for the past two decades and has helped hundreds of thousands of people reach their optimum health potential. He says, “your body, the only one you will ever have, is the foundation of your life and it’s either an anchor limiting your freedom and potential or a source of radiant energy.” What an insightful way of looking at things! Anchors can mean excess weight or bad habits that you feel chained to. It’s all about the choices you make. Sometimes we make these healthy positive choices and they can last for a definite amount of time but Shawn talks about something more significant that gives lasting change. “There is a difference between change and transformation. Where change is change, I define transformation as ‘significant and lasting change.’ It’s a change that doesn’t snap back to the way it was before.” This book is all about creating that lasting transformation in your life.

Shawn makes a really positive comment (one of many) as he quotes from a clinical study. “You’re never too old to gain strength. The Noll Laboratory for Human Performance compared young men, with men between the ages of 45 and 60 and found that the percentage of body fat, along with aerobic capacity, was not related to age but rather to the amount of time spent training their body.” Yippee, love those results! There are further studies too, related to muscle growth for individuals between 60 and 96 years old that are just as positive. This is extremely encouraging, you are never too old! As Shawn says, “the symptoms of aging are less dependent on age and more dependent on lifestyle.”

The basis of having strength for life is in your power of focus – an idea given by so many self-development writers for a variety of different reasons. It is the ability to focus all your energy on what you are doing at the present time. Never mind about the past or future. “The freedom to place your focused attention where you want it, when you want it, offers a competitive advantage in a world where the average attention span is measured in seconds, not minutes.” This is a crucial point to finish with. How much more fulfilling can your life be with such a simple change, practising focus on a daily basis, a few minutes of meditation every day to help you relax and taper your mind. With this simple change you can experience complete transformation in any area you choose.

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Day 31 of 50 ideas in 50 days is Mastery by George Leonard. Mastery has such an interesting take on what it is to be a ‘master’ of something. In fact, it is not about winning or being the best at something, as you might initially think. George says, “we fail to realise that mastery is not about perfection. The master is one who stays on the path day after day, year after year and who is willing to try and fail and try again for as long as he or she lives.” He makes the point that the path to mastery is always long and often difficult, so as a result, we are attracted by different paths. George narrows these paths down to three.

The Dabbler – gets really into something for a time then after the initial excitement is gone, they are off to the next new thing.

The Obsessive – wants to get everything perfect and in a really short space of time. When they are getting the same results or their results decrease they are obsessive in trying to create an upward curve again.

The Hacker – stays in the same place and is quite happy with the same routine, never wants to improve or gain flexibility in a new skill.

These 3 can be found in all areas of life, from career to hobbies to relationships. So how do we go from this to practising mastery? George says, “to put it simply, you practise diligently, but you practise primarily for the sake of practise itself.” This is mastery, it is being truly at peace and loving the process for what it is. Don’t get impatient with yourself, enjoy the process for the experience. This makes me think of the many questions I received from students as to why Mathematics was an essential part of the High School curriculum. They saw no worthwhile end result in using simultaneous equations! They didn’t always agree with me when I replied, “it’s a fantastic brain experience, do it for the love of the process of solving problems.”

Interestingly, George points out how the media and advertising is geared toward climaxes and going from one high to another. “Our hyped up consumerist society is engaged in fact, in an all out war on mastery.” These extreme highs have got to have extreme lows. Mastery is different. “To love the plateau is to love the eternal now, to enjoy the inevitable spurts of progress and the fruits of accomplishment…to love the plateau is to love what is most essential and enduring in your life.” In this way, you love and appreciate the actual process of being and becoming. Goals and forward plans are important of course but never lose sight of where you are now and appreciate the moments of the journey. This is truly living.

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Day 30 of 50 ideas in 50 days is Loving What Is by Byron Katie. Byron has had a phenomenal influence on self-development because of her gentle spirituality, compassionate words and clear thinking. This is a wonderful book, it contains many worthwhile and effective exercises for challenging your mindset from one that is not serving you to one that is infinitely more peaceful. She has a clarity that is refreshing and heartwarming.

Byron wants us to know, “I can find only three kinds of business in the universe, mine, yours and God’s. Much stress comes from mentally living out of our business.” I love this. How much mental anguish do you give yourself because you are trying to control what cannot be controlled? Why do we think we can control an earthquake or somebody else’s behaviour? This is an empowering fact once you realise it and accept things for what they are. She says, “if you want reality to be different from what it is, you might as well teach a cat to bark.”

The problems in our thinking that cause suffering can be turned around once you see them for what they are. “As you inquire into issues…you come to see that every perceived problem ‘out there’ is really nothing more than a misperception within your own thinking.” Byron has a four step inquiry for changing these perceptions.

1.  Ask yourself, is it true?

2. If you are struggling with No. 1 or are unsure, ask yourself, “Can I absolutely know this is true?” You will be pushed to find a yes answer to this one. What can we know for certain, really, other than that nothing is certain?

3.  How do I react when I feel the thought? Do I feel angry, afraid, upset?

4.  Who would I be without the thought? Breathe a sigh of relief – do you think you’d be able to see more of the positive things in this situation?

Then, we turn the thought around, which means, take that thought and make it positive. For example, go from, ‘this job is the worst I have ever done’ to ‘this job is fulfilling and pleasant’ and go through the process again. As a result, you can see things as they are, free from opinions. This is a very powerful process and one that echoes the thought processes of many philosophers and spiritual leaders in search of truth.

Byron Katie says, “nothing ever goes wrong in life…everything happens for me and not to me…until you can see everything in the world as your friend, your work is not done.” Seeing things as challenge and opportunity makes an incredible difference and when you are in this frame of mind, you are the creator of your life and your experiences.

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Day 29 of 50 ideas in 50 days is writer, Ken Wilber. Ken is my kind of guy, a philosopher, mystic and critical thinker with a deep brooding stare! He has an ability to make complicated ideas very simple and this is an amazing talent. Many seemingly complex ideas are actually incredibly simple and can be communicated in such a way that anyone, regardless of age and educational background can understand them. (Maybe with the exception of some sciences and advanced calculus!)

Ken talks about ‘integrative’ or ‘integral’ thinking and says that we are now experiencing  an integration of  cultures from all over the world and this includes philosophical and spiritual ideas. This is contemporary 21st century living. Ken calls it, ‘the integral age,’ since we have been through many ages of civilisation such as the industrial age and the information age. He gives various stages of thought that we may go through in our life and associates them with colours.KenWilber

Red – solving things with aggression and confrontation.

Blue – fundamentalist, literal truths.

Green – environmentalism

Orange – science, academia and business.

The thing is, if you so chanelled that your way is the only way and you think it is 100% correct, what room is there for anyone else? Ken says, “no-one is smart enough to be 100% wrong.” Positively stated it means that everyone has a partial truth to what they say (it’s all relative anyway) and a partial falsity. It is so important to understand where the other person is coming from, realise they have their own truths and accept this, empathise with it.

Ken takes this a stage further in a way that I think is key and it’s also a Buddhist idea. Can you take an objective view of your subjective view of the world, see it from another perspective?  i.e. get out of your locked subjective perspective and in your mind’s eye, look at the way you view things? A very powerful idea and this simple task of shifting perspective can have an amazing effect on the way you view the world and others around you. It’s more flexible, less attached and as a result, can relieve a lot of suffering caused by having fixed views. You might stop reacting so much, stop making everything so personal and find existence a much more peaceful journey.

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Day 28 of 50 ideas in 50 days is Focal Point by Brian Tracy. Brian is one of the top writers and mindset experts in his field. He has had decades of personal development sales and training delivery. The book Focal Point is all about focusing your energy which is something that many success writers stress the importance of. It is a must for productivity. He says, “among the most important personal choices you can make is to accept complete responsibility for everything you are and everything you will ever be…the acceptance of personal responsibility is what separates the superior person from the average person.” To me, this is crucial. What kind of life is it if you spend it blaming others for your mistakes and live your days as a victim? This most certainly separates the high achiever from the average person. He says, “accepting complete responsibility for your life means that you refuse to make excuses or blame others for anything you’re not happy about. You refuse, from this moment to critisise others for that reason.” Wow, this is huge, from now on don’t criricise others for something you are not happy about yourself. Stop the blame, begin to be the creator and not the result of conditioning by other people.

So what does he say about focusing? “Once you have thought through your work and decided on your most valuable task, you must discipline yourself to start it immediately and stay until it is complete. When you concentrate single-mindedly on a specific task, without distraction or diversion, you get it done far faster than if you start and stop, then come back to the task and pick it up again.” Isn’t that the truth? If you leave it and come back to it, a considerable amount of time is spent thinking about how you left it and how you will continue.

Another important point Brian makes is the importance of what you want and not on what you don’t want, one of the crucial aspects of the Law of Attraction. He says, “in this respect, charity is terribly important. Successful people have tremendous clarity about who they are, what they want and how they are going to get it.” It is so important to change your confusion and indecision into precision and clarity, then you begin to see results, often much quicker than you ever imagined. Sharpen up, tailor your productivity and focus with clarity – you will see some tremendous changes.

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Day 27 of 50 ideas in 50 days is the second Philosopher’s Note on Dan Millman, this time with Everyday Enlightenment. My feeling is that the ideas in this book and the clarity with which he writes is long overdue. It is essential to make spiritual practice part of everyday life. as Martin Luther King Jnr. said, “no man is an island” and we have to communicate and have relationships with other people, animals and the Earth. What good is shutting yourself away on a mountain (even if that mountain is your house) for a few minutes or a few hours a day if you cannot apply it to your life and help others with it? Dan says, “when people ask me abstract questions about time, space or reincarnation, I may respond by asking whether they exercise regularly, eat a wholesome diet, get enough sleep, show kindness to others and remember to take a slow, deep breath on occasion – because it seems important to bring our spiritual quest down to earth.”  How very zen.

Dan gives lots of insightful and practical tips in Everyday Enlightenment and I would like to focus on one in particular. It’s an idea that I am very fond of and have used for years with clients and also with myself. It’s about the practicality of changing bad habits into good ones. The change of a bad habit to a good one and the replacing can require some mental exercises but there are some very practical things you can do to change your life. Dan talks about making any positive behaviour as convenient as possible and any negative behaviour inconvenient. He says, for example, “to break my bad habit of snacking in the evenings, I keep dental floss and a toothbrush in the downstairs bathroom near the kitchen. Right after dinner I floss and brush. I’m far less likely to snack because if I eat something, I’ll have to floss and brush all over again.” He also goes on to say that you need to replace these old habits with new, creative, productive and enjoyable actions.

So what’s holding you back? Can you begin to make it as inconvenient as possible and replace it with something that is practically really easy to do? This book has so many down to earth ideas about living an enlightened life every day, it’s definitely worth a closer look.

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Day 26 of 50 ideas in 50 days is Do You by Russell Simmons. Russell is such an interesting and vibrant individual. Amongst many other things, he was the co-founder of Def Jam records that signed such legends as LL Cool J, Public Enemy and The Beastie Boys. In Do You, he focuses on the strategies that helped him to build his ‘Rush Communications’ business that emerged from the record label and he has been named one of America’s 25 ‘most fascinating entrepreneurs.’

An essential idea that Russell begins with is, when you have a vision or something you wish to achieve, focus on it and stick with it. He says,russell-simmons-do-you-cove ”in my experience, there’s only one way thing that will always steer you toward success: that’s to have vision and to stick with it…once I have a vision for a new venture, I’m going to ride that vision until the wheels come off.” If it’s worth doing, it’s worth practising and following through until the end result is achieved. Follow it through to full fruition!

One thing that is constantly touched on by so many self-help authors is the feeling of gratitude and how it can make a happier, more fulfilled existence and Russell agrees. “When I start my day by reflecting on all the things I have to be grateful for, I’ll have a much more rewarding day.” I can’t stress enough how much I agree with Russell. Gratitude for breakfast makes for a beutiful day and a beautiful restful sleep when contemplated just before you drop off at night.

As I approach a certain milestone age in my life, I truly believe that I can do so many more things now that I wouldn’t have had the confidence to do 20 years ago. I’m older, definitely wiser in many ways (some ways, not so much! ;D) and have gained so much more peace in myself. So when Russell says, “age ain’t nothing but a number,” I am wholly inclined to agree with him. If you trust in yourself and your own inner guidance, you can be sure of this. Fundamentally, you are never tooold to start following your dream or your passion. Once you get past a certain age, it really feels as if time begins to speed up and this should always serve as a reminder that life is too short not to follow your heart. It’s your life!

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