Entries tagged with “self improvement”.
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Thu 11 Feb 2010
Day 24 of 50 ideas in 50 days is Body Mind Mastery by Dan Millman. Dan was a former world champion athlete and gymnastics coach and he has a wonderfully unique style of writing bringing western and eastern thought together. I think most of us could utilise the good advice about activity in some aspect of our lives. He makes a crucial point early in the book, stating that vitality is about activity and does not have to be formal exercise, it can be getting off the bus one step earlier or taking the stairs for a change.
Dan says it’s important to feel positive about failure, “ultimately, fear of failure generates a vicious circle that creates what is most feared. To break this cycle, you need to make peace with failure…if babies held the same tendency toward self-criticism as adults, they might never learn to walk or talk.” It’s true, we need to stop critisising ourselves for our failures and keep practising. It’s important to try and in that case, at least you’ll have no regrets. It’s important to relax and stay focused on the action.
Dan talks about the Law of Accomodation and how change happens in our physical body and mind, not in huge chunks on a daily basis. It’s essential to keep that in mind and see the first small goal rather than the one that seems far off on the horizon. The body and mind do change – that is science. “Your body is malleable, you can sculpt it over time with daily habits of diet and exercise. The Law of Accomodation reminds us that the body may change slowly, but it will change.” The key is consistency, even if that consistency is only for a few minutes a day, is better than intense effort once every fortnight. This is fairly evident in different aspects of life. With this consistency you can create new habits in a short period of time and before you realise it, you’ll be living the life you truly want.
Fri 29 Jan 2010
Day 15 of 50 ideas in 50 days is The Pursuit of Perfect by Tal Ben-Shahar. I hadn’t come across this book before but the title speaks volumes to me. For so long I pursued a life of perfection, eventually realising of course it was unreachable because it doesn’t exist.
Ben-Shahar offers the alternative he calls, optimalism which is much more empowered than the sense of lack given by pursuing perfection.
To quote from the book, Ben-Shahar says, “a perfectionist holds herself to impossible standards that result in pain and suffering to include, low self-esteem, eating disorders, depression, anxiety, OCD, chronic fatigue, panic disorder, social phobia and serious difficulties in relationships.” Wow! It’s important to realise that mistakes and failures happen, that’s life and the way we view these will affect our quality of life. If we view the glass as half full then we can find something good in any situation. It’s also important, as Tal says, “to fail frequently, because it means you try frequently, put yourself on the line and challenge yourself…from this we learn and grow.” We always have a choice and if we view failure and mistakes as opportunity and something we can learn from, it allows us to be the creators of our lives and not victims.
I’m a huge fan of Cognitive Therapy and the idea of viewing things as they truly are rather than through the filter of personal interpretation. Tal says, “the goal of cognitive therapy is to restore a sense of realism by getting rid of distorted thinking. When we identify an irrational thought, we change the way we think about the event and thereby change the way we feel… the distorted thought elicits an intense and unhealthy fear of failure, the rational thought reframes the situation and puts it into perspective.” This is viewing things as they really are, not as they appear to us.
I’d like to conclude with a rather wonderful new take on The Golden Rule (do unto others as you would have them do to you) that Ben-Shahar calls, ‘The Platinum Rule. ‘ We often show kindness to others but fail to do the same toward ourselves. He says, “why the double standard?” The new rule is, “do not to yourself what you would not do unto others.” Show the same level of compassion and encouragement to yourself as you would to your best friend and from this point you can begin to experience optimalism.
Thu 28 Jan 2010
Day 14 of 50 ideas in 50 days is the Napoleon Hill classic, Think and Grow Rich. This has been a pivotal book for so many people in business but this famous work is more than a book about money.
When he refers to riches, Hill is also referring to emotional and spiritual riches and this well read work has been an inspiration to many since it was first published in 1937. There are a few gems in this wonderful book that I’d like to focus on.
‘Thoughts are things.’ Hill says, “our brains become magnetised with the dominating thoughts that we hold in our minds and these attract the focus, people and circumstances which harmonise with the nature of our dominating thoughts.” Napoleon Hill was discussing the Law of Attraction decades before it was given the name. Unless we make a conscious effort to become aware of those thoughts and change them, then we still get more of the same, over and over again.
Self Confidence Formula - Here is a powerful quote that leads on from ‘thoughts are things,’ “I realise the dominating thoughts of my mind will eventually reproduce in outward action and gradually transform themselves into physical reality. Therefore, I will concentrate my thoughts for 30 minutes daily upon the task of thinking of the person I intend to become, thereby creating in my mind a clear, mental picture.” This exercise or similar is echoed in many self-help books and indeed is one that I recommend highly as ‘homework’ for my hypnotherapy clients. The important thing though is that it must be done regularly and consistently for it to have effect and to replace previous limiting beliefs. As an addition to this, I’d like to finish with another very important quote from Hill. “Without doubt, the most common weakness of all human beings is the habit of leaving their minds open to the negative influence of other people.” We may be more exposed to negative conditioning when we are growing up, but as adults we can choose to be the creators of our thoughts, experiences and our lives.
Tue 26 Jan 2010
Day 12 of 50 ideas in 50 days is Overachievement by John Eliot PhD. This book is tremendously exciting, power packed with ideas that are refreshing and highly motivating. There are so many dynamic points in John’s book, some that are new to my thinking and that’s always a good thing.
“Overachievement is aimed at people who want to maximise their potential and to do that, I insist you throw caution to the wind, ignore the pleas of parents, coaches, spouses and bosses to be realistic.” This is a fabulous quote and it appeals to my ultra rebellious nature! ;D Many things are said to us, often because others wish to protect us but unfortunately it shows their own conditioning and limiting mindset. John talks about the difference between the ‘Trusting Mindset’ and the ‘Training Mindset’ and gives an amazing analogy of a squirrel. He says, “the best in every business do what they have learned to do without questioning their ability – they flat out trust their skills.” Think also of how an ant works, with complete purpose and vision! Also, think about bees, how they fly and help sustain the whole ecology of the Earth when in fact they don’t know that aerodynamically, they are unable to fly! They are unaware of this but their whole purpose is far stronger. This is a ‘Trusting Mindset’ and is about not focusing on “anything but the target of that particular moment.” On the other hand, the Training Mindset’ is when your thoughts, worries and anxieties come into play. I’m sure you have experienced this yourself or have seen for example, a professional football player taking a penalty at the world cup and missing. Have you ever tried to hit a target in archery or golf or basketball and worried too much because there was a bet on you winning! I’m sure you can think of many different examples. (public speaking comes to mind!)
Eliot has an incredible take on fight or flight response. He says, “the physical symptoms of fight or flight are what the human body has learned over thousands of years to operate efficiently and at the highest level. Anxiety is a cognitive interpretation of that physical response.” He makes a very interesting point here, that the pressure we might feel in a situation can be our body’s way of helping us with performance. This feeling of pressure is completely different from worry or anxiety, it all depends on how our mind interprets the situation.
Throughout this book, John Eliot is urging to us that there is no place for worry and that “great performers focus on what they are doing and nothing else. They are able to engage in the task so completely that there is no room left for self-criticism, judgement or doubt.” That is wisdom indeed.
Tue 26 Jan 2010
Day 11 of 50 ideas in 50 days is The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace D Wattles. I am very broad minded when it comes to books and books about getting rich for some reason always have a bit of a mental block for me. Perhaps it’s the years of conditioning about hard work! However, very often, books that are so titled are more than just about money. I’d like to share with you a couple of my favourite ideas from Wattles’ essay.
Wattles gives a beautiful analogy of a seed and says, “a seed dropped into the ground springs into activity and in the act of living, produces a hundred more seeds; life by living multiplies itself.” It’s important to consider what seeds you are planting in your life as it will produce many more in it’s image. Think of how laughter is infectious or how a bad mood can spread to others around you! There are also similarities here with the Law of Attraction in that like attracts like and what you focus on increases.
The other important point I’d like to focus on is ‘becoming a creator, not a competitor.’ Wattles says, “you are to become a creator, not a competitor; you are going to get what you want, but in such a way that when you get it, every other man will have more than he has now.” There is a huge difference between these two things and when you come from a place of creativity, everyone benefits from your wisdom and individual talent. It’s also about valuing your worth and focusing on how best to serve others by your creation, not, ‘what can I get from this person or how can I compete?” When you do this, the other person has to lose and it’s much better for everyone to have a win/win situation. Like many other self-help writers, Wattles focuses on gratitude as the thing that keeps us connected to the ‘one intelligent substance from which all things proceed.’ It is the one thing that I know I will continue to see in the pages of the 50 ideas books within the coming weeks and one that Wattle decided to include in his essay because of it’s utmost importance to happiness and fulfillment.
Fri 22 Jan 2010
Day 10 of 50 ideas in 50 days is How to Think Like Leonardo Da Vinci byMichael Gelb. It is said that we should never judge a book by it’s cover but the title of this book made me want to delve into it’s pages. Da Vinci was so much more than just an artist. Often genius comes with outstanding talent in a particular field but Da Vinci was an all-rounder who utilised both sides of his brain to great effect. Not only was he a creative genius, we was incredibly adept in science, music and athletics. In this book, Michael Gelb gives what he think are the 7 qualities in Da Vinci’s genius.
1. Curiosita – an insatiably curious approach to life and an unrelenting quest for continuous learning. I believe we are all born with this and it dominates our life as children but we often lose it when more mundane priorities arise in the so called real world.
2. Dimonstratzione – a commitment to test knowledge through experience, persistence and a willingness to learn from mistakes. This is the scientific method and it is also perhaps the most efficient way to learn, from your own errors.
3. Sensazione – the continual refinement of the senses, especially sight, as the means to clarify experience.
4. Sfumato – a willingness to embrace ambiguity, paradox and uncertainty. I love this. As I’ve always been a philosopher at heart, I embraced uncertainty a long time ago and I place a lot of importance on critical thinking and scepticism. It’s important to know that we can’t know everything.
5. Arte/Scienza – the development of the balance of science and art, logic and imagination. This is whole brain thinking. Balance your technical knowledge with music and your mathematical thoughts with some fiction. Such an important piece of advice, particularly for optimal brain health.
6. Corporalita- the cultivation of grace, ambidexterity, fitness and poise. Michael Gelb is most certainly approaching all angles with these 7 points. The body affects the mind and the mind affects the body. It’s one thing exercising the brain continuously but a healthy body is of equal importance.
7. Connessione- a recognition and appreciation for the connectedness of all things and phenomena. Michael Gelb leaves nothing out of these 7 steps and stresses the importance of spiritual connection with all things in this final point.
Michael’s own genius in his study of this great master is that he has captured the essence of what it means to fully live your life, completely, authentically and compassionately. Thinking like Leonardo Da Vinci recognises the genius that is potentially within everyone.
Thu 21 Jan 2010
Day9 of 50 ideas in 50 days is Spiritual Liberation by Rev. Michael Bernard Beckwith. I first came across Rev. Michael in The Secret and was moved by his profound energy and poignant message. He founded the Agape Spiritual Centre in Los Angeles which is a transdenominational church with a strong focus on spirituality. He is a very gifted writer and speaker and he brings together many dynamic messages in Spiritual Liberation. I would like to focus on 2 ideas in particular that have caught my attention.
In Spiritual Liberation Michael talks about ‘Freedom from the Tyranny of Trends’ as an essential part of liberation and happiness. It’s amazing how many of us fall victim to trends and fashion particularly in the earlier stages of life when we are greatly influenced by what others think. He says, “the tyranny of trends allows for the lowest common denominator to set the standard of success and coolness…blasted out as us from TV, radio, newspapers, computers, trends very often convince individuals what their life’s purpose should be.” This is such an important statement and one that I haven’t heard too often.
Why be dictated to by a marketing drive for something that will change next week, next month or next year? It’s completely appropriate to describe it as the lowest common denominator as it allows others to think for you. He goes on to say, ” begin to consciously break your agreement with the mediocrity present in the tyranny of trends… break free from the hold of what society tells us we should be like.” I am in agreement with the point made by Brian in Philosophers Notes when he says, “read, meditate, journal, discover your highest self.. the highest common denominator.”
The other point I would like to focus on from Spiritual Liberation reminds me of ‘Morpheus’ from The Matrix and his classic line, “there is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.” Michael describes not ‘walking the path’ as spiritual indigestion and constipation! He says, “to read and study and have conversations about spiritual practices is good but unless you incorporate them into your life, you won’t embody or integrate them…all you will develop is a case of spiritual indigestion and constipation.” What a fabulous image and one that is incredibly real! Do you find yourself reading through book after book on self-development without seeing any change in your life? Or do you frequent seminars and conferences with gusto, feeling euphoric about your life and future only to find yourself back to square one after the weekend is over? Implementation is key. Your life will remain the same with the usual issues coming back to hit you in the face unless you put theories into your life and practise them. Walk the path. It’s never too late to take action and now is always the best time.
Wed 20 Jan 2010
Day 8 in 50 ideas in 50 days is the wonderful Wayne Dyer with Real Magic. Wayne Dyer is one of my all time favourite writers and I particularly love hearing him speak. I own many of his audio books and seminars on mp3 because of his gentle, peaceful voice and he tells many amazingly powerful stories. In this inspirational work, he lists 7 steps for manifesting what he calls, Real Magic.
1. There is an invisible but knowable life force within you. You can feel it when you are truly connecting with someone or when you are in perfect flow with life, sometimes before something happens.
2. Your thoughts are something you control and they originate within you. The realisation of this is very powerful if you really think about it and it’s worth re-reading this many times. You have the power to change your thoughts and your life.
3. There are no limits. This is all about how we have been conditioned to think. Consider how people thought about the Earth hundreds of years ago, that it revolved around the sun and was flat. New discoveries are made every day, that is science and who knows what may be fact tomorrow.
4. Your life has a purpose. Wayne says, “everything has a purpose, indeed the invisible intelligence that flows through everything in a purposeful fashion is also flowing through you.”
5. You overcome weaknesses by leaving them behind. You are in control, your weaknesses are not in control of you, they are not you.
6. When you examine what you believe to be impossible, you can then change your beliefs. Your beliefs are not set in stone, they do not have to be ‘facts’ about your life. Allow your mindset to change to a truer alignment with your dreams.
7. You can go beyond logic. Reminds us that nothing is impossible and miracles can be achieved. ;D
Wayne’s ideas have a timeless spirituality that is perfect for our time. His words about appreciation of the happiness of others have resonance with many spiritual ideas concerning gratitude and joy. We should not harbour negativity toward the prosperity of others in the form of envy, contempt and jealousy. He says, “rejoice in the prosperity of others…negative inner mindset keeps you from being on purpose. You cannot be fulfilled and envious at the same time.” This is a beautiful quote to end on. It comes from a place of love, keeping your mind and heart open. Always a wonderful thing.
Fri 15 Jan 2010
Day 5 of 50 ideas in 50 days is Esther and Jerry Hicks’ ‘Ask and It is Given.’ The ideas in this book are similar to many self-help books in that it deals with fully living and realising your potential. The source of the ideas is very different in that it is a channelled source from a collection of beings called Abraham. Quite apart from what you may think of this source, the book has a very important message that is age old wisdom but fashioned in a different way. If you are familiar with the new age book market, you’ll have heard of Esther and Jerry. Their books, and this one in particular, created the buzz expression, ‘the Law of Attraction’ and Ask and It Is Given was also a precursor to The Secret.
The Law of Attraction can be summed up quite simply as, ‘like attracts like,’ specifically concerning what you are thinking and how you feel about yourself at any given time. Now if you are under the control of your conditioned responses, deep down if you don’t believe you deserve to be treated well, then you will attract that treatment from others. Powerful stuff if you are aware of this. They quote, “every thought vibrates, every thought radiates a signal and every thought attracts a matching signal back.” So, if you are emitting negativity and expecting it, you can’t expect to receive much positive energy from the world. When you really become aware of this as the very heart of how the Law of Attraction works, it puts you in a position of having complete control of your life, depending on where you put your focus.
One important point I want to make here is that this isn’t rocket science. If you focus on what is good about the world and your life then of course your day will be full of positivity because that is exactly what you are consciously noticing. Alternatively, if, for example, you believe that Friday 13th is an unlucky day and bad things will happen then of course you will notice all the things that go wrong on that day but I’d bet if you thought that way about Saturday 14th then you would notice just as many negative things on that day too.
The Law of Attraction is incredibly powerful when you believe it and I also think that having a strong positivity directly affects situations and those around you. There is one ingredient though that for me, is the most important thing about Ask and It Is Given and that is, appreciation and gratitude. It is essential to come from a place of humility and be thankful for what you have, the people in you life, the lessons you have learned, the beauty of nature…the list goes on. For me, it’s not about about, ‘what can I get?’ and unfortunately this wrong view has inspired many to see the Law of Attraction as just that. Put your happiness outside of yourself and make it reliant on material gain or in the hands of others then you will always be left waiting.
The key to all of this lies in appreciation, gratitude and thankfulness, it puts your life in your hands and makes you a conscious creator of your life and future. You won’t live a life of wanting because you already have it.
Thu 14 Jan 2010
Day 4 of 50 ideas in 50 days is Gay Hendricks’ The Big Leap. I hadn’t come across any of Gay’s work before so I was really keen to begin looking at the key ideas for this book.
He begins with a question that for some may seem quite a strange one. ‘Am I willing to feel good and have my life go well all the time? Our first reaction may be, “of course, what a ridiculous question,” but in fact the mind creates so many limits that it may be something that is completely outwith our comfort zone and we often get too attached to our little routines. Also, we might think it’s just not possible. Gay continues by saying, “a long time ago you made a deal with the universe.” This means that our lives should be lived fully and his statement is about honouring our commitment to ourselves. (Aristotle referred to it as ‘flourishing’ in his Nicomachean Ethics)
There is a section in the book which talks about our thermostats being too low, that there is a limit to how much love, creativity and success we can allow ourselves to enjoy. Most of us are conditioned to have the thermostat set at an early age and if we attempt to move out of our comfort zone, our fears, controlled by limiting beliefs begin to kick in.
Gay addresses ways of dealing with these fears and I love the image that he illustrates of “waving at them.” It means acknowledge and be aware that the fear exists and the simple little illustration of waving gives the fear less power. He goes on to make a very important point about fear and that is, our response to it determines whether or not we become anxious or exhilarated. He quotes Fritz Pearl, who said, “fear is excitement without the breath.” Think about the whole process of stress and how it affects the body. You hold your breath, it gets worse and worse but if you acknowledge it and begin to breathe beautiful long deep breaths, it turns into excitement and/or relaxation. You actually fool your body. When our bodies go into fight, flight or freeze mode (which is like an ancient genetic memory) blood goes away from the centre of your body to the arms and legs with the effect of enabling us to fight or to run away. It can also make the body freeze, you can feel dizzy, lightheaded and unable to move. If you have ever suffered from a phobia or extreme fear you will know exactly what I mean. Change the way you think about it, relax and breathe from your lower abdomen and the relief becomes apparent. You can fool your body by changing your mind!
From these key notes, I am encouraged to delve deeper into The Big Leap. Gay has a lovely, very readable writing style and I think any book that challenges your thinking and your conditioned beliefs is work a second look. This book addresses the issue of reaching your full potential in life and analyses the fears that may inhibit this fulfillment. One last note, I love the cover of this book, it illustrates exactly what is inside.